So we’ve been talking and praying a lot about beginnings – about new beginnings, about how things are going to be post-pandemic, and about how we have a great opportunity to start fresh. Or at least, in church circles, we’ve been talking about all those ideas.
And it’s all great stuff. It really is – this idea of letting go of what’s not working and creating new practices and patterns that work better and more efficiently and show more fruit. It’s a really wonderful time – inspiring, optimistic, and truly hopeful.
Yeah. I just threw up a little bit…
If I’m honest, this week, I’ve been in a funk. I was getting ready for a funeral; I am trying to let go of a friendship that just isn’t healthy for me anymore; and I’m basically being asked to abandon everything at work and start over.
(Ok. Maybe I’m the tiniest bit melodramatic on that last point. I mean, Jesus is still the same, but the rest of the church stuff… All of that? That all seems to have had a major, enormous COVID shift. Sigh.)
In the midst of all of that, I have been considering endings – and praying about and trying to discern clearly how to do them graciously and gracefully. I mean, how do you let go of things that you don’t really want to let go of – even if you need to and even if you know the next thing is going to be better? Why does letting go just really suck sometimes?
Double sigh.
And, so the only wisdom that I’ve discovered is this: It’s ok to not be ok.
(I’m pretty sure I’m not the first person to write those words, so I did try to find the original quote – you know, so that I could properly cite my source. However, it seems that this is a fairly universal theme for humanity, so a lot of people have shared this same wisdom before. Go figure.)
Anyway, back to what I was saying… It’s ok to not be ok.
It’s ok to be ticked off at life – at circumstances that make us change. It’s ok to be sad because “good-bye” is hard. It’s ok to roll our eyes, lift single eyebrows, and embrace the acidic churn in the pits of our stomachs when people come at us with yet another great idea for what we should do next when we weren't done with the last thing yet. It’s ok to hold on to what we’re losing just a tiny bit longer – or at least the dream and memory of it – until we are really ready to let it go. It’s ok.
It sucks, but it’s ok.
So I just thought I’d share with y’all this insight in case y’all are rolling eyes and lifting single eyebrows right now, too. Because, you know… It’s ok.
Y’all stay safe out there…
Jesus wept. (John 11:35)