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  • Writer's pictureKelly

Fear and Trembling: A Beginning

Within the United Methodist Church, I am a provisional member of the Rio Texas Conference's Order of Deacons. This is really just a fancy way of saying that I haven’t been ordained yet; the Church is keeping an eye on me for a few years until they make sure that I will be okay on my own as a pastor.


Part of this “keeping an eye on me process” is what is a two-year program called Residence in Ministry – or RIM. RIM is kind of like a residency for a doctor: The individual has all the rights and privileges of that position, but there is still some supervision and oversight involved.


So I am a RIMlet. Or a resident clergyperson. Or something. As a result, there are retreats, mentors, growth agendas, evaluations, discipleship projects, and so much more.


If I’m honest, it’s not as bad as it sounds; the folks involved are gracious and wise, and relationships that will last entire careers are being formed. At the end of it all, ordination will be achieved, so that’s a good thing too.


As a part of this residency process, there is a mission project involved – a mission project that was originally supposed to be a mission trip to the Mexican border but also a mission project that has drastically shape-shifted since COVID-19.

Now, our mission project is going to explore cultural diversity within our little corner of the UMC – and how we’re dealing with all the weirdness in our world. The initial questions that started us on this mission project path are these:


Why are we beginning careers in ministry in a denomination that has been on a pretty obvious decline and that is also in the middle of a schism over LGBTQ+ issues – a schism that has only been temporarily laid to rest at the hands of a global pandemic? Why would we sign up for that? Why would we want to become part of something so seemingly uncertain?


That’s where we started, but, as the project has become more organized, a handful of other questions have popped up – questions that our group feels like we have to address in some way.


To help me process those questions – and, ultimately, to help me work out my salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12) – I’m going to be dedicating blog posts to those questions for the next while. I know it will help me, and I pray that the questions may be ones that you have also wondered about.


So y’all stay tuned, and we’ll see how this goes.


Y’all stay safe out there…


“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--

not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--

continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling…”

(Philippians 2:12)

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